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Harmful Pattern Screener

Concerned about harmful patterns in your relationship?

Women living inside psychological and emotional control describe confusion, self-doubt, anxiety, self-blame and fatigue. That’s by design.
Control within relationships is hidden within identifiable and trackable patterns once you know what to look for.

This screener maps your responses across key domains of relational control and returns a scored, personalised result — privately, to your email, within minutes.

It won't tell you what to do. It will give you a clearer picture of what's happening.

No cost. Takes 5–10 minutes.

An evidence-informed self-report tool developed by Clinical Psychologist, Donna-Marie (Dee) Donaldson (WiseWOMAN Studio) as a support resource for women.

First, you might like to make a note of the link below somewhere private in case you need to exit quickly or don't have 5-10 minutes to complete the 20 multiple choice questions now. You can return to it at anytime.
https://tally.so/r/68xbvP

I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions including that I must be over 18 years of age and that my email is required to receive my report and occasional updates from WiseWOMAN Studio (check this box to continue):

I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions including that I must be over 18 years of age and that my email is required to receive my report and occasional updates from WiseWOMAN Studio (check this box to continue):
Read Terms and Conditions here

Instructions

Rate each behaviour as applying if it was explicitly said, directed, or written; OR evidenced by what you saw, heard, or suspected; OR you felt it was implied or hinted at with expected consequences. Answer each statement before moving on to the next.

Response Scale

Rate each question with how often each of the below occurred in your relationship over the past 3-6 months:

0  —  Never

1  —  Once

2  —  Twice or more

3  —  Frequently / ongoing

1. My partner has checked up on or monitored my movements (where I am), communications (conversations, texts, phone calls), or social interactions (social media).

2. I have felt that I must seek approval from my partner before making ordinary decisions (even if my partner didn't explicitly tell me I had to).

3. My partner has interfered with or discouraged my contact with friends/family (including making negative comments about them).

4. My partner has restricted my access to or controlled our shared finances (whether I agreed to it or not).

5. My partner has undermined my work, study, or independence (whether with discouraging comments, lack of support, by creating barriers, or explicitly preventing).

6. My partner has denied events or statements that I clearly remembered (regardless of whether I had evidence or not)

7. I have felt confused or questioned my memory after disagreements with my partner.

8. My partner has shifted responsibility or fault for their behaviour onto me or has used lists of past events to justify their behaviour.

9. My partner has used guilt, shame, or the silent treatment (stonewalling) to influence me.

10. I have altered my behaviour to prevent emotional withdrawal or punishment by my partner.

11. My partner has raised their voice, behaved in a threatening manner, or behaved aggressively toward me or around me.

12. I have felt worried or anxious about how my partner might react to disagreement, feedback, or to something I say or do.

13. My partner has threatened to end the relationship, to harm themself or to harm others (including children or pets) during conflict.

14. My partner has damaged property or behaved in ways meant to intimidate or frighten me.

15. I have felt afraid of my partner at times.

16. I have doubted my judgement more than I did prior to this relationship.

17. I have felt less confident or independent since this relationship began.

18. I have minimised my personal needs and wants to keep the peace or to reduce conflict with my partner.

19. I have felt increasingly alone, lonely, trapped or isolated since this relationship began.

20. I have felt less like myself, or more disconnected from the people and activities that used to matter to me prior to this relationship.

Please provide your best email (ensuring it is safe, secure and private) for your results to be forwarded (required):

What is your preferred first name? (required)

What is your gender?

Age range

Country of Residence