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Is Your Relationship Nourishing you..... or Quietly Draining You?

This questionaire is designed to help you reflect on how your relationship feels over time, not just in isolated moments.

Grab a pen or open notes on your phone, and choose the option that feels most true, even if it's uncomfortable.

As you go through this, take a moment to check in with yourself to-are you showing up in the way you'd hope your partner would?

Take note of your answers as you go, and at the end of the quiz, you will be asked which letter you chose the most: A, B, C, or D.

When you're upset or stressed, your partner:

*

When you're upset or stressed, your partner:

A

Actively supports and comforts you

B

Acknowledges it but doesn't engage much

C

Seems irritated or avoids it

D

Ignores it or makes it about themselves

When you raise an issue, your partner typically:

*

When you raise an issue, your partner typically:

A

Listens and works toward resolution

B

Listens but doesn't really change anything

C

Gets defensive quickly

D

Blames you or turns it back on you

After spending time together, you usually feel:

*

After spending time together, you usually feel:

A

Energised and content

B

Neutral

C

Drained and tense

D

Exhausted or emotionally depleted

When something goes wrong in your life:

*

When something goes wrong in your life:

A

You feel like a team

B

You handle it mostly yourself

C

You hesitate to involved them

D

You know they wont help

Your partner's contribution to daily life (home, responsibilities) is:

*

Your partner's contribution to daily life (home, responsibilities) is:

A

Consistent and shared fairly

B

Uneven but manageable

C

Mostly falls on you

D

Almost entirely on you

When you try to be lighthearted or playful

*

When you try to be lighthearted or playful

A

They engage and match your energy

B

Sometimes engage, sometimes don't

C

Shut it down or ignore it

D

React negatively or snap

You feel comfortable expressing your needs:

*

You feel comfortable expressing your needs:

A

Yes, openly and safely

B

Sometimes, depending on mood

C

Rarely-it often leads to tension

D

No it backfires

When your partner is struggling:

*

When your partner is struggling:

A

You support each other mutually

B

You support them more than they support you

C

You carry most of their emotional weight

D

You carry it all with little/no return

Your partner's effort over time has:

*

Your partner's effort over time has:

A

Grown or remained consistent

B

Fluctuated

C

Decressed

D

Been minimal or reactive only

When conflict happens, it usually:

*

When conflict happens, it usually:

A

Gets resolved

B

Gets paused but not fully resolved

C

Repeats in cycles

D

Escalates or gets turned against you

You feel like you have to "watch yourself" (tone, words, reactions):

*

You feel like you have to "watch yourself" (tone, words, reactions):

A

Almost never

B

Occasionally

C

Often

D

Constantly

When you set a boundary:

*

When you set a boundary:

A

It's respected

B

It's acknowledged but inconsistently

C

It's challenged

D

It's ignored or punished

Your partner takes accountability:

*

Your partner takes accountability:

A

Regularly and genuinely

B

Occasionally

C

Rarely

D

Almost never

You feel appreciated in this relationship:

*

You feel appreciated in this relationship:

A

Consistently

B

Sometimes

C

Rarely

D

Not at all

When your partner does something hurtful:

*

When your partner does something hurtful:

A

They reflect and try to change

B

They apologise but repeat it

C

They minimise it

D

They deny or flip it onto you

The emotional "weight" of the relationship feels:

*

The emotional "weight" of the relationship feels:

A

Balanced

B

Slightly uneven

C

Mostly on you

D

Entirely on you

You feel safe being fully yourself:

*

You feel safe being fully yourself:

A

Completly

B

Mostly

C

Only in parts

D

Not really

When plans or expectations change:

*

When plans or expectations change:

A

They communicate clearly

B

They inform you eventually

C

You have to chase for clarity

D

You're left waiting or disregarded

Your partner's actions match their words:

*

Your partner's actions match their words:

A

Consistenly

B

Often

C

Occasionally

D

Rarely

You feel respected in day-to-day interactions:

*

You feel respected in day-to-day interactions:

A

Consistently

B

Mostly

C

Inconsistently

D

Rarely

When you imagine your future with this person:

*

When you imagine your future with this person:

A

You feel excited and secure

B

You feel unsure but hopeful

C

You feel doubtful

D

You feel heavy or stuck

You stay in this relationship partly because:

*

You stay in this relationship partly because:

A

You genuinely want to

B

It feels familiar and comfortable

C

It feels difficult to leave

D

You feel emotionally or financially unable to leave

Your nervous system around them feels:

*

Your nervous system around them feels:

A

Calm and regulated

B

Mostly okay with occasional stress

C

Frequent tense

D

Constantly on edge

If nothing changed in this relationship for 5 years:

*

If nothing changed in this relationship for 5 years:

A

You'd be happy

B

You'd accept it

C

You'd feel disappointed

D

You'd feel trapped

Deep down, you believe this relationship is:

*

Deep down, you believe this relationship is:

A

Healthy and supportive

B

Needs some work

C

Draining more than it gives

D

Not right for you

You're almost done

Take a moment to look back over your answers.

Go through your responses and notice which letter you selected most often: A, B, C or D

Trust your instinct here; don't overthink it. Once you've identified your most frequent answer, select it below to see your result.

Which letter did you choose most often?

*

Which letter did you choose most often?

A

B

C

D