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Father Wound Assessment for Men

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Introduction

The father wound in men is a profound emotional injury that arises when a father or father figure is absent, neglectful, or harmful during critical periods of development. This absence or dysfunction can leave lasting scars on a man’s mental and emotional health, manifesting as chronic self-doubt, a compulsive need to prove one's worth, and difficulties in forming intimate relationships. Developmentally, the lack of a nurturing paternal presence can disrupt the formation of a secure identity. To protect themselves from the pain of this absence, they might put on a tough exterior, acting as if nothing can hurt them. However, deep down, they may feel significant emotional pain. This inner conflict can lead to unhealthy ways of coping, such as becoming overly aggressive, shutting down emotionally, or trying too hard to succeed in order to prove their worth. This further impairs the ability to experience genuine vulnerability and connection.

Healing the father wound involves a holistic approach that integrates trauma processing techniques like EMDR, somatic therapies, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) work, allowing men to reconnect with their true selves, embrace vulnerability, and foster healthy relationships.

This assessment is a guide that provides valuable insights to help refine our therapeutic approach and create a customized plan tailored to your most important needs and goals.

Please take your time with each question and answer as honestly and openly as you can. There are no right or wrong answers—just your experience, which is valuable and important.

I look forward to our time together.

Warmly,

Monika

Monika Grace, CCTP-II
Integrative Somatic Psychotherapist, Trauma Specialist, EMDR, IFS, SE, PSYCH-K
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What is your full name?

What is your email?

What is your mobile number?

What is your location?

Country

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Instructions
This short form contains 15 questions specific to how father wounds impact men—or those with dominant masculine energy.
Please read each statement carefully and choose the number that best reflects your experiences. There are no right or wrong answers. Your responses will help in understanding areas that may need attention and healing.
For each question, select the response that most accurately reflects your experience. Use the following scale to answer:
Rating Scale:
1 = Not at all true
2 = Rarely true
3 = Sometimes true
4 = Often true
5 = Completely true

1. I often feel the need to prove my worth because I fear being seen as weak.

1. I often feel the need to prove my worth because I fear being seen as weak.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

2. I have difficulty trusting others, even those who try to get close to me.

2. I have difficulty trusting others, even those who try to get close to me.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

3. I feel a constant pressure to be self-reliant, fearing that dependence on others will lead to rejection.

3. I feel a constant pressure to be self-reliant, fearing that dependence on others will lead to rejection.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

4. I experience bursts of anger or aggression when reminded of my father’s absence or neglect.

4. I experience bursts of anger or aggression when reminded of my father’s absence or neglect.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

5. I believe I must always be in control to avoid being hurt or abandoned.

5. I believe I must always be in control to avoid being hurt or abandoned.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

6. I struggle with feelings of emptiness or inadequacy that I cannot explain.

6. I struggle with feelings of emptiness or inadequacy that I cannot explain.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

7. I often find myself overcompensating in my work or relationships to mask my inner pain.

7. I often find myself overcompensating in my work or relationships to mask my inner pain.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

8. I fear that if I let my guard down, I will be rejected or abandoned.

8. I fear that if I let my guard down, I will be rejected or abandoned.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

9. I sometimes feel disconnected from my own emotions or body.

9. I sometimes feel disconnected from my own emotions or body.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

10. I tend to isolate myself when I feel vulnerable or hurt.

10. I tend to isolate myself when I feel vulnerable or hurt.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

11. I feel a persistent need to prove my masculinity or worth, possibly stemming from my father's expectations or absence.

11. I feel a persistent need to prove my masculinity or worth, possibly stemming from my father's expectations or absence.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

12. I struggle with expressing vulnerability or emotions, fearing it may be perceived as weakness, a belief influenced by my relationship with my father.

12. I struggle with expressing vulnerability or emotions, fearing it may be perceived as weakness, a belief influenced by my relationship with my father.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

13. I have difficulty forming or maintaining close friendships with other men, possibly due to trust issues related to my father.

13. I have difficulty forming or maintaining close friendships with other men, possibly due to trust issues related to my father.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

14. I often seek approval from authority figures or mentors, reflecting the validation I did or did not receive from my father.

14. I often seek approval from authority figures or mentors, reflecting the validation I did or did not receive from my father.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true

15. I experience challenges in balancing assertiveness and aggression, which may be connected to my father's behavior or teachings.

15. I experience challenges in balancing assertiveness and aggression, which may be connected to my father's behavior or teachings.
Not at all trueSometimes trueCompletely true
Thank you for completing this questionnaire. Your responses will be discussed during your next session to identify areas for support and healing.
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