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Is this a narcissistic relationship?
(A personal warning sign)
This is not a diagnosis, but a quick assessment of red flags that might be appearing.
Q1. How do they respond when you set a small boundary?
*
A
They ignore it or push past it.
B
They act irritated, confused, or hurt.
C
They understand and adjust easily.
D
They seem unsure but try to respect it.
Q2. How fast did the emotional intensity ramp up in the relationship?
*
A
Lightning fast - intense declarations, future plans, or "soulmate' talk early on.
B
Very fast - constant affection and connection.
C
Calm and natural pacing
D
A little fast but still grounded.
Q3. When you talk about your feelings, what happens?
*
A
They shift the focus back to themselves in a way that repeatedly derails your emotional experience.
B
They try to understand but sometimes miss emotional cues or need things explained more directly. (This in itself may not be a flag, if the person is neurodivergent.)
C
They listen and respond with patience and genuine care.
D
They dismiss, shame, or criticize your feelings, leaving you doubting yourself.
Q4. How do they talk about their exes?
*
A
Balanced — acknowledges good, bad, and shared responsibility.
B
They describe themselves as the victim of everyone they’ve dated.
C
Mostly neutral or avoids details.
D
Every ex is “crazy” or toxic.
Q5. What happens when you aren’t giving them full attention?
*
A
They become clingy or noticeably upset.
B
They punish you with anger, guilt, silence, withdrawal, or coldness.
C
They ask for reassurance but handle it well.
D
They stay steady and connected.
Q6. How does your body feel around them? (Aside from sexual energy)
*
A
High adrenaline with an undercurrent of dread or anxiety.
B
On edge — can’t totally relax.
C
Calm, safe, grounded.
D
A mix of excitement and slight tension.
Q7. How do they handle being wrong in your relationship or with others?
*
A
They twist the situation to soften their role.
B
They reflect, take accountability, and repair.
C
They apologize but it feels half-hearted.
D
They deny, deflect, or blame you completely.
Q8
.
How do they react when you receive attention from others (compliments, success, social interest)?
*
A
They criticize, sabotage, or accuse you of wanting attention.
B
They become irritated, withdrawn, or subtly competitive.
C
They get a little insecure but communicate openly about it.
D
They’re proud of you and supportive.
Q9. How much space do they allow you to have?
*
A
They prefer more closeness but respect your needs.
B
They support your independence.
C
They become suspicious, irritated, or accusatory.
D
They guilt-trip you for needing time alone.
Q10. Early on, how do they treat your accomplishments?
*
A
They get threatened, irritated, or passive-aggressive.
B
They minimize or compete with your achievements.
C
They acknowledge them briefly, then change the subject.
D
They celebrate you genuinely.
Q11. How do they “joke” with you or others?
*
A
Their jokes often land at someone else’s expense, then they say “you’re too sensitive.”
B
They use sarcasm, ridicule, or humiliation as jokes — especially when challenged.
C
They occasionally tease but stop immediately if someone looks uncomfortable.
D
Their humor is light and never intentionally hurtful.
Q12. How do they talk about their friends and family?
*
A
They cycle between idealizing and devaluing people, or they have chaotic, hostile relationships across the board.
B
They have a few strained relationships but are generally respectful.
C
They blame friends or family for most conflicts and talk negatively about them often.
D
With warmth, consistency, and genuine care.
Q13. What is their relationship with honesty?
*
A
You catch inconsistencies or half-truths that don’t add up.
B
They lie easily, double back, deny past statements, or gaslight.
C
They avoid certain topics but don’t intentionally deceive.
D
They are straightforward and transparent.
Q14. When they praise you, what does it sound like?
*
A
Worship-level intensity — “perfect,” “destined,” “only one who understands me.”
B
Specific and grounded — they see you clearly.
C
Mostly generic or surface-level compliments.
D
Unrealistically glowing, idealized praise.
This quiz created by a Happy Hippie
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