Leading From Shoulds

Filtering to be Palatable

Language GE

Embodiment GE

Fragmented Across Contexts

Tethered to Being Right

Command Without Resonance

Overexplaining to Be Heard

Disconnection Under Pressure

Carrying Leadership in Tension

Dominance Over Presence

Identity GE

Unearthed Power Matrix Quiz

What will they expect from me—and how can I meet that?

Who will be in the room, and how should I adjust how I show up?

I’ve done this before—I just need to make sure I come across as the expert.

When you're preparing for a high-visibility moment (e.g., a keynote, board meeting, or new leadership role), your inner dialogue sounds most like:

I doubt myself and wonder if I should’ve done it differently.

I get defensive and restate my reasoning clearly—I need them to understand I’m right.

I rethink how I’m coming across to that particular person and whether I should shift something next time.


















When it comes to your leadership identity, which
feels most true right now?






I’ve become really good at doing what’s expected of me—even if it doesn’t feel like me.

I’m most comfortable in roles where I’m clearly seen as competent, knowledgeable, and in control

I wear different masks, and I"m not sure which one is most real.


















When you share personal parts of your story or
background in leadership settings...






I look for what’s worked before or what others might expect.

I pause to figure out which version of me needs to show up for this particular situation.

I focus on making the smartest, most competent call—I want to get it “right.”


















In moments of visibility or recognition…






Quietly Questioning Belonging

I feel the need to backtrack or add more explanation so they understand exactly what I meant.

I double down and reassert my point—I said what I meant, and I don’t feel the need to revisit it.

I wish I had said it differently- with more confidence, more concise, with more or less conviction, etc.


















When preparing to share your perspective in a
high-stakes conversation…






I walk through what I want to say and how to soften it so others won’t feel uncomfortable.

I think through all the angles to make sure my message will land the way I want it to.

I focus on staying firm and clear—I want people to know I’m not second-guessing myself.


















When someone misunderstands your intent or
message…






I usually say what I mean directly—if it’s uncomfortable, that’s part of the process.

I add context, reassurance, or soften my tone so the person doesn’t take it the wrong way.

I spend time planning what to say so I don’t have to backtrack or explain later.

Hesitation in Speaking with Conviction


















When giving feedback or sharing bold ideas…






I replay what I said and think about whether it came with enough or not enough confidence.

I wonder if I made sense—I often feel like I had to say so much to be clear.

I don’t usually reflect on it—I was clear and direct, and that’s what mattered.


















When reflecting on your communication in
leadership…






I freeze or go blank—it’s like I’m watching myself from the outside.

My body tightens—I feel it in my jaw, breath, or posture, even if I stay composed.

I stay sharp and in control—but I’m focused more on projecting power than staying grounded.



































In moments of challenge or conflict…









Performing Confidence

I consciously take up space—my posture, tone, and presence are all turned up.

I try to stay calm, but I feel my body bracing—shoulders up, chest tight, breath shallow.

I feel like I’m not fully in my body—I go on autopilot until it’s over.


















When entering a space where you need to “show
up”…






I go into performance mode—I stay composed, even if my body feels disconnected.

I physically feel the stress but push through—I’m holding it together, but it takes effort.

I go numb or space out—it’s hard to stay present when I feel that kind of pressure.