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Which Little Miss Honky Tonk Are You?
Find out if you’re a Yeehaw Meemaw, a Ramblin’ Ma’am, or a Honky Tonk Honey.
You’ve got the boots, the attitude, and probably a strong opinion about The Dixie Chicks.
Take this quiz to find out which Honky Tonk Traditions personality fits you best.
What’s Your Honky Tonk Personality?
1. The group chat says, “We’re going out tonight.” What happens?
*
A
“Perfect. I was looking for a reason to wear the outfit.”
B
“Send the address. I’m always down for an adventure.”
C
“Depends. Do they play real country or not?”
D
I said I was staying home, but somebody mention one interesting place and suddenly I’ve got my shoes on.
2. Somebody puts Luke Bryan on the jukebox. What happens?
*
A
I’m looking for George Strait before the first chorus finishes.
B
I sigh dramatically, but unfortunately I know every damn word.
C
I’m already outside figuring out where we’re going next.
D
I’m making jokes about the jeans while still singing along. I contain multitudes.
3. What’s most likely permanently living in your purse, bag, or vehicle at all times?
*
A
Road-trip snacks, a charger, and a jacket I forgot I owned.
B
Lip gloss, perfume, and something unnecessary but cute.
C
Enough random useful items to handle three minor emergencies.
D
Half practical supplies, half evidence that I haven't cleaned this thing out since my last adventure.
4. Pick your ideal Saturday.
*
A
Flea markets, backroads, and absolutely no firm return time.
B
Handle what needs doing, then good music and good people.
C
Get dressed up and dance until somebody starts stacking chairs.
D
A productive afternoon that somehow turns into us being two towns over by dark.
5. You wake up in Nashville and discover somebody threw a chair off a rooftop. Your first thought?
*
A
“I need every single detail immediately.”
B
“Well, that seems expensive.”
C
“Which rooftop? We should go see it.”
D
“Nashville has lost its damn mind... but tell me who was there.”
6. Somebody starts drama at the honky tonk. What do you do?
*
A
End it with one look and about seven words.
B
Move somewhere else. I refuse to let strangers ruin my night.
C
Stay clear of the blast radius. I came here to have fun.
D
We can relocate, but I'm going to need somebody to tell me what happened later.
7. Pick the country-music scandal or spectacle you’d most like to witness from the next table.
*
A
The Chicks and Toby Keith publicly deciding neither side was going home quietly.
B
Garth Brooks deciding the world needed to meet Chris Gaines.
C
Any awards-show moment where a publicist visibly realizes they’ve lost control.
D
Willie Nelson being Willie Nelson while one deeply concerned person tries to maintain order.
8. What’s your relationship with rhinestones?
*
A
The correct amount is “noticeable from across the room.”
B
Fine, but they had better be done right.
C
I respect the institution, but give me worn leather and road dust.
D
I want enough sparkle to have fun without looking like I lost a fight with a Bedazzler.
9. Pick your dream roadside stop.
*
A
A local dive with a jukebox and six decades of stories.
B
A roadside oddity or antique store that absolutely wasn't on the itinerary.
C
A cute little boutique where I leave with something I did not need.
D
Anywhere weird enough to require a picture and a story afterward.
10. You’re allowed to steal one country star’s closet. Whose?
*
A
George Strait. Clean shirt. Good hat. Mind your business.
B
Dolly Parton. If we're stealing a closet, we're doing it correctly.
C
Willie Nelson. Four shirts and absolutely no itinerary.
D
Shania Twain, but I'm pairing the leopard print with something old-school enough to keep everybody confused.
11. You’re producing a country music video. What absolutely has to be in it?
*
A
A dance hall, a real band, and at least one person who looks like they’ve actually worked outside.
B
Rhinestones, wind machine, dramatic entrance. We have a budget and I intend to spend it.
C
A convertible, a two-lane highway, and no explanation of where anybody is going.
D
Alan Jackson waterskiing in jeans, because “Chattahoochee” proved realism is overrated.
12. The honky tonk is closing. What are you doing?
*
A
“Thank God. Some of us have things to do tomorrow.”
B
Asking the bartender where everybody goes after this.
C
“Closing” sounds more like a suggestion. Who has an after-party?
D
Standing outside for another forty-five minutes saying goodbye to people I met three hours ago.
13. What’s your usual role on a night out?
*
A
The one suggesting we leave this place and see what else is out there.
B
The one who somehow knows half the room by midnight.
C
The one everyone eventually asks, “What do you think we should do?”
D
Half cruise director, half responsible adult, depending on how badly everybody else is behaving.
14. Pick your ideal Sunday.
*
A
Brunch, gossip, and reliving the best parts of the weekend.
B
Coffee, no rush, and maybe driving somewhere for no particular reason.
C
Quiet morning, practical tasks, and nobody asking anything of me.
D
Coffee somewhere new, then see what happens. I refuse to schedule Sunday too tightly.
15. You have to survive an entire night at a modern Nashville Broadway bar. What’s the strategy?
*
A
Full outfit. Full commitment. If we're doing Broadway, we're doing Broadway.
B
Start upstairs, wander three blocks, accidentally make six friends, end up somewhere strange.
C
Locate the one corner where I can hear myself think.
D
Find someplace tolerable, then convince the group to wander somewhere with better music.
16. You unexpectedly get a whole day to yourself.
*
A
I'm getting in the car and figuring the rest out later.
B
I'm finally handling the things everybody keeps pretending will fix themselves.
C
I'm calling somebody. A free day deserves plans.
D
Coffee, errands, and then I am absolutely rewarding myself afterward.
17. Pick the motel you’d willingly stay in.
*
A
Clean, reasonably priced, and I don't have to argue with anybody at the desk.
B
Renovated motor lodge, pool, cute sign, good mirror.
C
Old roadside motel with a neon sign and mildly suspicious ice machine.
D
Somewhere with enough character that I forgive at least one inconvenience.
18. Which country-lyric energy best describes your dating history?
*
A
“I should've known better.”
B
“We probably shouldn't, but this could make a fantastic story.”
C
“He was a terrible idea, but unfortunately very attractive.”
D
I knew it was stupid, went anyway, and now I have an excellent story and a lesson nobody asked for.
19. What are you bringing to the cookout?
*
A
Drinks, something cute, and possibly a guest nobody knew was coming.
B
The dish everyone specifically asked me to make because apparently nobody else can be trusted.
C
Something I found at a little local place on the way there.
D
Food people actually want plus enough extra supplies to rescue whoever forgot something.
20. The DJ announces a line dance. What are you doing?
*
A
Already on the floor. These boots were not purchased for sitting.
B
Learning enough to survive, then wandering off when something better happens.
C
Watching everybody do it wrong and slowly developing high blood pressure.
D
I'll do one, but then can we please play something where people actually dance with each other?
21. You see a hand-painted sign: ANTIQUES — 2 MILES. What happens?
*
A
Turn signal is already on.
B
Depends. Actual antiques, or somebody's old Tupperware?
C
If there might be vintage clothes or jewelry, I'm listening.
D
I'll stop, but somebody better find something worth putting in the house or wearing out tonight.
22. Your friend says she has nothing to wear.
*
A
“You own 47 shirts. Stop carrying on.”
B
My closet is now her closet. This is an emergency.
C
“Wear whatever. We're probably ending up somewhere dusty anyway.”
D
We'll find something wearable, then quit overthinking it and leave.
23. Pick your personal country-music hill to die on.
*
A
A fiddle and steel guitar have never ruined a country song.
B
The best music is often being played somewhere you had to drive two hours to find.
C
There is nothing wrong with a song being fun, dumb, and perfect for Saturday night.
D
Country should sound like somebody somewhere actually lived a little before recording it.
24. Which compliment means the most?
*
A
“You make everything more fun.”
B
“I knew you'd know what to do.”
C
“You always find the coolest places.”
D
“You somehow make good decisions without making things boring.”
25. You walk into a roadside bar and there are six people inside.
*
A
Perfect. Somebody in here has stories.
B
Good. Maybe the bartender can actually hear my order.
C
Give me thirty minutes. I can work with six people.
D
This is either the greatest bar we've ever discovered or the beginning of a deeply questionable evening. I'm staying.
26. Pick a souvenir.
*
A
Something useful enough that I won't resent buying it tomorrow.
B
A matchbook, postcard, patch, or tiny artifact from somewhere I found.
C
Something wearable so somebody eventually asks where I got it.
D
Something strange, old, and meaningful enough that I have to explain the story every time somebody sees it.
27. Which minor inconvenience irritates you the most?
*
A
Finding out somewhere closes just as the night gets good.
B
People being late when we agreed on a time.
C
Having every minute of a trip scheduled before we've even left.
D
Somebody rushing me when I'm clearly in the middle of finding something interesting.
28. You’re producing a country music video. What absolutely has to be in it?
*
A
A dance hall, real band, and somebody who looks like they've actually worked outside.
B
Rhinestones, wind machine, dramatic entrance. We have a budget and I'm spending it.
C
Convertible, two-lane highway, and absolutely no explanation of where anybody is going.
D
Alan Jackson waterskiing in jeans, because “Chattahoochee” proved realism is overrated.
29. What kind of trouble are you most likely to cause?
*
A
Turning a two-hour outing into an overnight trip.
B
Saying exactly what everybody else was thinking but had the sense not to say.
C
Convincing everybody to go out when nobody had plans ten minutes ago.
D
Making one responsible decision, then immediately suggesting something irresponsible enough to balance it out.
30. The honky tonk is closing. What are you doing?
*
A
“Thank God. Some of us have things to do tomorrow.”
B
Asking the bartender where everybody goes after this.
C
“Closing” sounds more like a suggestion. Who has an after-party?
D
Standing outside another forty-five minutes talking to people I just met while somebody tries to figure out where we're going next.
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