The Valence Baseline

SIGNAL_score

"How do I come across as attractive and interesting?"

"How do I show up as myself — even the imperfect parts?"

"How do I avoid saying something wrong or awkward?"

"How do I match what I think they're looking for?"

"I don't overthink it — I just show up"

Basically the same person — what you see is what you get

Similar but I'm definitely more polished early on

Noticeably different — I show my real self slowly

I'm honestly not sure — I haven't thought about the gap

Different people tell me different things about how I come across

There's a gap — I'm attracted to something different than what I say I value

I make exceptions for chemistry even when criteria aren't met

My criteria shift depending on who's in front of me

I don't have clear enough criteria to compare

"I date fewer people but invest more attention in evaluating each one"

"I date more people to compare — volume helps me figure out what I want"

Trust the feeling and pull back — my gut reads people before my brain does

Ignore the feeling — they haven't done anything wrong

Watch more closely — look for the behavior that matches the feeling

Assume I'm being paranoid or self-sabotaging

Impressed — I take people at their word

Interested but I watch whether their actions match over time

Slightly skeptical — big claims early usually mean something

I don't really notice or track claims like that

It depends entirely on how attracted I am to them

End it — time invested doesn't change compatibility

Give it more time — feelings might develop

Have the conversation — name what's missing and see what they say

Stay — it's good enough and starting over sounds exhausting

"I tend to stay too long in things that aren't working"

"I tend to leave too quickly before giving things a fair chance"

Reach out to repair — even if I'm still frustrated

Analyze whether the fight reveals a deeper incompatibility