The Narrative Audit

Read each statement slowly. Don't analyze. Just notice what sounds like your own internal voice — not something you've heard about, but something that actually runs in your head.

For each note, mark your honest response. If something is Close, you'll have space to write the more accurate version in your own words. The notes that make you slightly uncomfortable to see written down are the ones worth sitting with.

Worthiness

Notes about the conditions required before you're allowed to simply exist without earning it.

"I can't just be here. I have to be here for something."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I don't get to need things."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I have to be useful or I'm in the way."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I'll rest when I've done enough — but I don't actually know what enough is."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"If I stop producing, what am I?"

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

Safety

Notes written by a nervous system still scanning for the threat that used to be everywhere.

"This is usually where it goes wrong."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"Don't get too comfortable. Something's coming."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"If I stop paying attention, it all falls apart."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"Good things don't last — I've seen how this ends."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I have to stay one step ahead or I'll get caught."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

Belonging

Notes about what connection costs and what happens if you stop paying.

"I became the one who keeps things running. That's my role."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"People want what I do, not who I am."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"If I come undone, they'll leave."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"Being needed is the closest thing to being loved."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I can't show them this part. They wouldn't stay."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

Adequacy

Notes that keep the scoreboard running even when you're ahead.

"Everyone else seems more settled in this than I am."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I'm keeping up — I'm just not convinced I should be here."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I did everything I was supposed to do. It didn't fix it."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I'm one bad performance away from being found out."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I can explain why I'm here. I just don't feel it."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

Permission

Notes about what you're allowed to want, feel, or take up space with.

"I don't know how to want things that could be taken away."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"Rest feels like something I have to justify."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"Wanting to be seen feels like I'm asking for too much."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I don't get to ask for help. That's not my position."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I can hold space for everyone else. I just can't take up any myself."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

Identity

Notes where the role and the person became indistinguishable.

"I became the smart kid. That's all I was."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I'm the strong one. That's not a choice anymore — it's just true."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I've been the stable one for so long I don't know what I am without it."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I built my whole life around being capable. Now I'm trapped in it."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

"I'm whatever the situation needs me to be. I don't know what I am without that."

A

Hits — sounds like my actual internal voice

B

Close — right direction, wrong wording

C

Not me — doesn't apply

One Last Thing

Pick the note that made you most uncomfortable to see written down. What does it make you do?

Not how it makes you feel. What it makes you do. The behavior is the thing.