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HUMAN VERIFICATION PROTOCOL™ (One of you isn't human application form)

Form HV-001 · Department of Human Affairs (Sponsored by @CoolestCouch)

Due to recent advancements in artificial intelligence, all applicants must provide sufficient evidence of biological personhood before being admitted.

Please answer truthfully. Dishonesty may result in the immediate extermination of you and any immediate kin.

Can you do a backflip?

*

A

Yes

B

No

C

Only if someone hot is watching (real)

D

Only emotionally

Please select the image below most likely to contain a human (CAPTCHA).

*

A

B

C

D

Trauma dump here please? (optional)

Can you have fun?

*

A

Yes

B

No

C

"Fun" is an inefficent emotion

D

I can't remember the last time I felt alive

Please enter your social media handle below:

*

Please enter your email below:

*

FINAL DECLARATION

*

I confirm once again I am human.

I confirm I will bring at least one other genuine human to the event.

I understand my application may be rejected by a dopamine-addicted doomscrolling semi-sentient being.