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Should We Move In Together?
A 5-minute relationship readiness assessment to help you see what needs discussing before you share a home.
Why are you thinking about moving in together?
*
A
We both feel ready for the next stage
B
To save money
C
Because one of us needs somewhere to live
D
Because we spend most nights together anyway
E
Because we are engaged or planning marriage
F
Because we are expecting a baby
G
Because one of us is pushing for it
H
We have not really discussed why
What does moving in together mean to you?
*
A
A clear step toward long-term commitment
B
A practical living arrangement
C
A trial to see if the relationship works
D
A step toward marriage
E
A way to spend more time together
F
I am not sure
G
We have never clearly discussed this
Have you both agreed on where this relationship is going?
*
A
Yes, we both want the same future
B
Mostly, but some details are unclear
C
We want different things
D
One of us is more committed than the other
E
We avoid talking about the future
F
We have never had a serious conversation about it
G
I am not sure
Have you had a full and honest conversation about money?
*
A
Yes, we know each other’s income, debts, spending habits and financial expectations
B
We have discussed most of it
C
We have discussed bills, but not debt or spending habits
D
One of us avoids talking about money
E
We have very different attitudes toward money
F
We have barely discussed it
G
No
How have you agreed to handle household costs?
*
A
We have a clear plan we both think is fair
B
We will split everything 50/50
C
We will contribute based on income
D
One person will pay more
E
We have discussed it, but not agreed
F
We have not discussed it yet
G
We already argue about money
Have you discussed how household responsibilities will be shared?
*
A
Yes, we have agreed on a fair division
B
We have discussed it loosely
C
We assume we will work it out
D
One person already does most of the work
E
We have different expectations about chores and responsibilities
F
We have not discussed it
G
This is already a source of tension
How well do you handle conflict together?
*
A
We disagree without becoming cruel, threatening, or disrespectful
B
We usually resolve disagreements well
C
One of us shuts down or avoids difficult conversations
D
Arguments often become personal
E
The same problems keep coming back without resolution
F
We rarely disagree, so I am not sure
G
Our arguments sometimes make me question the relationship
Have you discussed your expectations around privacy and independence after moving in?
*
A
Yes, we both understand and respect each other’s boundaries
B
Mostly, but a few things still need discussing
C
One of us expects much more independence than the other
D
One of us gets uncomfortable with privacy or time apart
E
We have different expectations around phones, friends, social life, or personal space
F
We have not discussed it
G
This is already causing tension
Have you discussed children and what family life would look like?
*
A
Yes, we are fully aligned
B
We mostly agree, with a few details to discuss
C
One of us wants children and the other is unsure
D
We disagree about whether to have children
E
Children from a previous relationship make this more complex
F
We have different views on parenting, faith, or family roles
G
We have not seriously discussed it
Have you discussed boundaries with ex-partners and previous relationships?
*
A
Yes, the boundaries are clear and we both feel comfortable
B
Mostly, but a few situations still need discussing
C
One of us has regular contact with an ex because of children
D
One of us feels uncomfortable about an ex still being involved
E
There are unresolved feelings or trust issues connected to a past relationship
F
We disagree about what appropriate contact looks like
G
We have never properly discussed it
Have you discussed what commitment means after you move in together?
*
A
Yes, we both define commitment the same way
B
Mostly, but some expectations still need discussing
C
One of us sees moving in as a step toward marriage
D
One of us sees it mainly as living together
E
We have different expectations about exclusivity or long-term commitment
F
We avoid defining the relationship too clearly
G
We have never properly discussed it
Have you discussed what would happen if living together did not work out?
*
A
Yes, we have discussed it calmly and practically
B
We have discussed some of it
C
We know whose name will be on the lease or mortgage
D
We have not discussed what happens financially
E
We have not discussed who would move out
F
One of us avoids this conversation
G
We have never discussed it
Have you discussed your everyday living habits and routines?
*
A
Yes, we understand each other’s routines and expectations
B
Mostly, and we think we will adjust well
C
We have different standards around cleanliness or tidiness
D
We have different sleep, work, or social routines
E
One of us needs much more personal space than the other
F
We already get irritated by some of each other’s habits
G
We have barely discussed daily life
Have you discussed your values, beliefs, and the kind of life you want to build together?
*
A
Yes, we are strongly aligned
B
Mostly, with a few differences we understand
C
We have important differences, but we respect them
D
We have different beliefs about faith, family, lifestyle, or priorities
E
One of us expects the other person to change
F
We avoid these conversations
G
We have never discussed this properly
Do you feel safe being fully honest with each other?
*
A
Yes, we speak openly even when the truth is uncomfortable
B
Mostly, although some topics are difficult
C
One of us holds things back to avoid conflict
D
One of us often becomes defensive
E
I sometimes worry about how my partner will react
F
There are things we avoid discussing
G
No, honesty does not always feel safe
Are you both choosing to move in freely, without pressure?
*
A
Yes, we both genuinely want this
B
Mostly, although one of us is more eager
C
One of us feels pressure because of money or housing
D
One of us feels pressure because of age or relationship expectations
E
One of us worries the relationship might end if we say no
F
We are moving in because circumstances make it easier
G
I am not sure I would choose this without the pressure
Have you seen how each other handles stress, pressure, and difficult seasons?
*
A
Yes, and we support each other well
B
Mostly, and we understand each other’s stress responses
C
One of us tends to withdraw or shut down
D
One of us becomes angry, controlling, or difficult
E
Stress often creates conflict between us
F
We have not been through enough together to know
G
I am unsure how we would cope under serious pressure
Have you discussed how much time you expect to spend together once you live together?
*
A
Yes, we have similar expectations
B
Mostly, with a few differences
C
One of us wants much more together-time than the other
D
One of us needs much more independence
E
We have different expectations about friends, hobbies, or going out
F
We assume living together will naturally solve this
G
We have never discussed it
Have you discussed sex and intimacy expectations after moving in together?
*
A
Yes, we communicate openly and understand each other’s expectations
B
Mostly, but some things still need discussing
C
We have different levels of sexual desire
D
One of us finds it difficult to talk about sex
E
We already have recurring tension around intimacy
F
We assume living together will improve our sex life
G
We have never seriously discussed it
Have you discussed how major decisions will be made once you live together?
*
A
Yes, we make important decisions together
B
Mostly, and we usually reach agreement
C
One of us tends to take control
D
We often struggle to compromise
E
Money decisions are likely to cause conflict
F
Family or outside opinions influence our decisions
G
We have never discussed how decisions will be made
Have you discussed what role family and friends will have in your shared life?
*
A
Yes, we have clear and healthy boundaries
B
Mostly, with a few things still to discuss
C
One family is much more involved than the other
D
One of us struggles to set boundaries with family
E
Friends or family already cause tension between us
F
We disagree about visits, holidays, or outside involvement
G
We have never discussed it
Are you both giving the relationship the same level of commitment?
*
A
Yes, our commitment feels equal
B
Mostly, although one of us sometimes carries more
C
One of us already acts like a spouse while the other still thinks like a boyfriend or girlfriend
D
One of us expects more sacrifice or responsibility from the other
E
We have different ideas about what living together requires
F
I worry one of us is much more invested
G
We have never discussed this clearly
Have you discussed what sacrifices each of you expects to make for the relationship?
*
A
Yes, we have discussed this openly and fairly
B
Mostly, and we understand where compromise is needed
C
One of us is already giving up more than the other
D
Career, location, money, family, or lifestyle changes still need discussing
E
One of us expects sacrifices the other has not agreed to
F
I worry resentment may build over what one person is giving up
G
We have never discussed this
If nothing about your partner changed, would you still want to live with them long-term?
*
A
Yes, I accept the person they are now
B
Mostly, although there are some things I hope improve
C
I expect living together will help them change
D
There are important things I need them to change
E
I am overlooking concerns because I want the relationship to work
F
I am unsure whether I can live with some of their current habits or behaviour
G
No, I would struggle if things stayed as they are
If you were completely honest with yourself, are you ready to share your life and home with this person?
*
A
Yes, I feel clear and ready
B
Yes, but there are important conversations we still need to have
C
I love them, but I am unsure about living together
D
I am worried I may be ignoring things because I want it to work
E
I am more afraid of losing the relationship than I am confident about moving in
F
I do not feel ready yet
G
I honestly do not know
What email address should we send your relationship readiness result to?
*
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