Page 1 of 3

Where Are You on the
Orgasm Gap Continuum?

In five questions, this free self-assessment designed by Sexologist Sarah Ward will place you on the map of where you are on the orgasm gap continuum.

Before we go any further: orgasms are great, but they're not the only marker of good sex. This quiz exists because a lot of people want orgasms and aren't getting them. But not every sexual encounter needs to end in an orgasm for it to count as sex. It's sex either way.

There are no right or wrong answers in this quiz: you couldn't get it wrong if you tried.

Your answers are totally confidential.

1. Think about orgasming with a lover: what's most true for you?

I orgasm with a partner pretty consistently

I want to, but I'm not sure my partner is as invested in it as I am

I not sure how to explain what I need in the moment

I get stuck in my head and have a hard time relaxing enough to get there

The way I'm being stimulated isn't doing it for me

2. Compare your solo and partnered orgasms.

They're about the same

I orgasm way more on my own — partnered sex just isn't organized around me and my pleasure

I orgasm more solo but I'm not sure exactly why

Solo works because I'm alone and there's zero pressure — that hasn't translated yet to being with a lover

Solo orgasms work because I do something specific my partner doesn't do

3. If your lover were to ask you during sex, "what would help right now?", you would...

Not need the prompt since you're usually in sync

Feel weird being asked

Freeze a little, and not be sure what to say

Feel pressure to tell them that it's fine

Have an idea of what works, but know that it just hasn't worked coming from them

4. What best describes your relationship to your orgasm?

I know what works and it works reliably, whether I'm alone or with a lover

I know what works — I'm just not sure my partner is into it like I am

Honestly, I'm still mapping it out myself

My performance anxiety gets in the way

I know precisely what to do on my own, but partnered sex rarely replicates it

5. The last time sex ended without your orgasm, what happened next?

That rarely ever happens

Nothing — it just ends and we move on

I was embarrassed that I couldn't say what I needed to cum

I pretended to be fine when I wasn't