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25 Quiz Questions
PART A — Childhood (Q1–8)
1. Growing up, when you were upset, what usually happened?
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1. Growing up, when you were upset, what usually happened?
A
A parent came quickly and comforted me
B
I was told to stop crying or toughen up
C
My parent was sometimes there, sometimes not — I never knew what to expect
D
The person who upset me was also the one I needed comfort from
2. As a child, how did you feel about your parents leaving?
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2. As a child, how did you feel about your parents leaving?
A
I missed them but trusted they'd come back
B
I didn't really care / felt relieved
C
I was extremely anxious and worried they wouldn't return
D
I felt terrified but tried to hide it
3. When you achieved something as a child, how did your caregivers respond?
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3. When you achieved something as a child, how did your caregivers respond?
A
They celebrated with me consistently
B
They rarely acknowledged it or raised the bar immediately
C
It depended on their mood — sometimes yes, sometimes ignored
D
It was unpredictable — sometimes praised, sometimes punished
4. Were you ever made to feel responsible for a parent's emotions?
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4. Were you ever made to feel responsible for a parent's emotions?
A
No, they handled their own feelings
B
Rarely
C
Yes — I often felt I had to keep them happy
D
Yes, and it was frightening
5. How was conflict handled in your home?
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5. How was conflict handled in your home?
A
Calmly, with resolution
B
It was avoided or suppressed
C
Loudly and emotionally
D
It was scary or unpredictable
6. Were you given space to have your own opinions and feelings?
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6. Were you given space to have your own opinions and feelings?
A
Yes, my feelings were validated
B
Not really — emotions weren't discussed
C
Only if they aligned with what my parent wanted
D
It wasn't safe to have opinions
7. Which sentence feels most true about your childhood?
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7. Which sentence feels most true about your childhood?
A
I felt loved and safe most of the time
B
I learned early I was better off relying only on myself
C
I always felt like I had to earn love
D
Love and fear were often mixed together
8. Did you ever feel invisible or overlooked as a child?
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8. Did you ever feel invisible or overlooked as a child?
A
Rarely
B
Yes — my needs just weren't really seen
C
Yes — I had to act out to be noticed
D
Yes — and I wasn't sure if I was safe
PART B — Relationship Patterns (Q9–18)
9. When someone you love doesn't reply for a while, you:
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9. When someone you love doesn't reply for a while, you:
A
Feel fine — they're probably busy
B
Don't notice much / feel relieved to have space
C
Start to spiral — did I do something wrong?
D
Feel a mix of panic and numbness
10. When a partner pulls away emotionally, you tend to:
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10. When a partner pulls away emotionally, you tend to:
A
Give them space and check in when it feels right
B
Also pull away and feel oddly relieved
C
Pursue harder — text more, ask what's wrong, try to fix it
D
Panic and freeze at the same time
11. How easy is it to ask for what you need in a relationship?
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11. How easy is it to ask for what you need in a relationship?
A
Pretty easy — I know my needs matter
B
Very hard — I don't want to be a burden
C
Hard — I hint and hope they figure it out
D
I don't fully know what my needs are
12. How do you feel when a relationship gets very close and intimate?
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12. How do you feel when a relationship gets very close and intimate?
A
Good — that's what I want
B
Uncomfortable — I feel the urge to create distance
C
Amazing but terrifying — I wait for them to leave
D
Both craving it and terrified of it at once
13. Have you ever stayed in a wrong relationship because being alone felt unbearable?
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13. Have you ever stayed in a wrong relationship because being alone felt unbearable?
A
No
B
No — I'd rather be alone than feel trapped
C
Yes, absolutely
D
Yes, even though the relationship hurt me
14. When a partner criticizes you, your immediate reaction is:
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14. When a partner criticizes you, your immediate reaction is:
A
I consider if they have a point and respond thoughtfully
B
Shut down, go cold, or withdraw
C
Immediate shame spiral — I must be unlovable
D
A flashback feeling of childhood shame
15. How do you handle your own anger in relationships?
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15. How do you handle your own anger in relationships?
A
I express it clearly without attacking
B
I suppress it completely
C
It builds up and then explodes
D
I either explode or completely shut down
16. Do you find yourself attracted to emotionally unavailable people?
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16. Do you find yourself attracted to emotionally unavailable people?
A
Not particularly
B
Sometimes — I like the space they give
C
Yes — I find myself constantly chasing them
D
Yes, and I don't know why I keep choosing them
17. When you imagine a truly secure, stable relationship, how does it feel?
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17. When you imagine a truly secure, stable relationship, how does it feel?
A
That's exactly what I want
B
Nice but a bit boring
C
Amazing but impossible — like it wouldn't last
D
Like it would eventually be taken away-
18. After a fight with someone close, you usually:
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18. After a fight with someone close, you usually:
A
Repair the connection relatively quickly
B
Need a long time alone and feel distant for days
C
Need constant reassurance that you're okay
D
Alternate between wanting to repair and wanting to flee
PART C — Your Core Wound (Q19–25)
19. Which fear feels most like yours?
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19. Which fear feels most like yours?
A
Being abandoned or left behind
B
Not being good enough / being rejected
C
Being controlled or losing my independence
D
Being betrayed by someone I trust
20. Which pattern do you most recognize in yourself?
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20. Which pattern do you most recognize in yourself?
A
I give too much to avoid being left
B
I shrink myself to avoid rejection
C
I push people away before they can trap me
D
I wait for people to show their true colours
21. Which do you believe deep down, even if you wish you didn't?
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21. Which do you believe deep down, even if you wish you didn't?
A
People always leave eventually
B
I am fundamentally not enough
C
If someone gets too close, I'll lose myself
D
Everyone will eventually hurt me
22. What do you most crave but also find terrifying?
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22. What do you most crave but also find terrifying?
A
A permanent, unbreakable bond
B
Being fully seen and accepted
C
Being close without losing my identity
D
Trusting someone completely
23. Which situation would cause you the MOST distress?
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23. Which situation would cause you the MOST distress?
A
Your partner says they need space and time apart
B
Your partner says they're disappointed in you
C
Your partner wants to spend every single day together
D
You discover your partner kept a secret from you
24. When you feel emotionally triggered, what do you tend to do?
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24. When you feel emotionally triggered, what do you tend to do?
A
Cling, cry, or desperately seek connection
B
Go quiet, shut down, and handle it alone
C
Rage, then shut down, then feel shame
D
Become hypervigilant and look for evidence of threat
25. Which childhood message do you carry most?
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25. Which childhood message do you carry most?
A
"Don't leave me"
B
"I'm not worth loving as I am"
C
"I have to protect my freedom"
D
"I can't trust anyone"
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