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Choose the BEST answer for each question below!

What makes you most frustrated about sex with your partner currently?

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A

Our frequency and interest in sex is ok. It's just so awkward getting started.

B

It's not really happening. We're so busy and overwhelmed.

C

One or both of us is just not super comfortable talking about sex, so it's not happening much.

D

Honestly, sex has become the elephant in the room. Our relationship is mostly about logistics of home, work and kid stuff.

E

We are just different with what we want and I'm worried we're not compatible enough.

How do you feel about initiating physical intimacy with your partner?

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A

Honestly it's hard to think about initiating. It's just not super on my mind because I have a list a mile long of other things.

B

Eek! Not super confident. I start overthinking it and everything that could go wrong.

C

The dynamic in our house just doesn't feel sexual. I can't remember the last time we had an intimate, romantic moment.

D

I don't really see myself as a sexual initiator.

E

I love our sex, but I'm just not feeling as secure in the connection because of our differences.

What keeps you up at night about your relationship?

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A

Sometimes I feel like I'm not meeting my partner's sexual needs because I get in my head.

B

I know my partner wants to feel wanted and I'm not sure I'm making them feel that way even though I do desire them

C

I don't feel super safe opening up to them about vulnerable stuff.

D

Everything else has become a priority and we're not as connected. Feels hard to change it.

E

We want different things when it comes to monogamy or kink and I don't know if it's going to work.

When you think about your sex life, what are you most concerned about?

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A

Sex just stresses me out sometimes. I can't read my partner's mind or even my own sometimes.

B

It's hard to figure out how to get in the mood when I've got a "to do" list a mile long.

C

I want to be the person my partner wants and needs, but it's hard to express my sexual thoughts out loud.

D

The distance between us in general.

E

Whether or not we can get on the same page and still be true to ourselves as individuals.

How often do you feel emotionally connected to your partner?

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A

Frequently! They're my best friend and I don't want our sexual differences to lead to a breakup or divorce.

B

We do get quality time, but it's often with the kids, friends or family. It's a bit harder to get 1-on-1 time together.

C

Pretty often, I just can't tell when they're in the mood for sex.

D

Often. It's the sexual connection that I have a hard time talking about.

E

Almost never. I love them and think they're cute, but it no longer feels emotionally intimate OR sexual.

What aspect of your relationship makes you the most happy?

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A

I love when we can have quiet moments together--it just seems so rare because life keeps coming at us!

B

I like when I can flirt, show appreciation and share my sexual thoughts. I just need some encouragement to come out of my shell.

C

When my partner is supportive of my thoughts and feelings. I would love to feel like I can safely share how I feel more often.

D

I love when my partner's signals are clear and my own head is clear and it's easy to connect and have great sex.

E

Just feeling like my partner is my person and is there for me. I can't imagine being with anyone else.

In a perfect world, what would your intimacy look like?

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A

I would love to have adult conversations with my partner and connect about something other than what chore needs to get done or what event needs to be put on the calendar.

B

A smooth take-off! We're on the same page with initiating and send each other clear signals.

C

We actually have time to slow down and connect. I need that to help me get in the mood.

D

I'd be more confident and comfortable expressing my sexual thoughts, talking about sex and not taking things too personally.

E

It looks like me and my sweetie finding a happy compromise between what we each want with our sex lives.

If you could wave a magic wand, what would the perfect outcome for your sex life be?

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A

I become Don Juan (or Dona Juana) and am a master of seduction.

B

We're chill, relaxed people who easily gets in the mood and have plenty of time to connect sexually.

C

We can talk to each other about anything and feel completely seen and heard and not judged. Our sex life is amazing as a result of our close emotional connection.

D

We are on the same page about our kinks, the frequency we have sex and whether or not we are monogamous.

E

I can talk about sex with the best of them and enjoy exploring what I like and what my partner likes.

How comfortable are you discussing your desires with your partner?

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A

I guess I'm somewhat comfortable--it just doesn't seem to occur to me or my partner to do that because the focus is elsewhere.

B

Nope. Sex thoughts are "inside" thoughts and I (or my partner) am not comfortable saying them out loud.

C

The energy between us just doesn't feel sexual, so I don't think about that. Plus, I'm not comfortable being that vulnerable with them.

D

Very comfortable. It's just stressful when we differ too much.

E

A little. I get in my head a lot so that often stops me or gets me jumbled up.

What is most likely to make you feel down about your sex life?

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A

That we never seem to have time or energy to make it happen.

B

The thought that I'm too in my head when it comes to our sex life.

C

That we love each other so much but seem to want different things.

D

That we just feel so distant from each other, it's hard to imagine being intimate.

E

That I (or my partner) seem to have a hard time being open about sex. I want us to be able to understand each other more.

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