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The Family Code Assessment

First Name

Last Name

Email

Every family lives by a code. The question is whether you chose yours or drifted into it.
Welcome. This assessment is designed to reveal the gap between the life you want and the life you are actually building.

Please answer based on how you have actually lived during the last 90 days, not your intentions. Answer honestly. You cannot change what you are unwilling to see.

Faith

1. My daily decisions reflect what I say I believe.

Never trueConsistently true

2. I regularly spend intentional time with God outside of church attendance.

Never trueConsistently true

3. Scripture influences how I handle money, relationships, work, conflict, and priorities.

Never trueConsistently true

4. I obey God even when obedience costs me comfort, money, approval, or opportunity.

Never trueConsistently true

5. When culture conflicts with my convictions, I know which one has authority.

Never trueConsistently true

6. I can identify areas of my life where I am currently resisting what I know God is asking of me.

Never trueConsistently true

7. The people closest to me see evidence of my faith through my behavior, not just my words.

Never trueConsistently true

8. I practice forgiveness even when reconciliation or restored access is not appropriate.

Never trueConsistently true

9. Prayer is part of how I make decisions, not only something I turn to during crisis.

Never trueConsistently true

10. I take responsibility for my sin rather than primarily explaining, minimizing, or blaming it.

Never trueConsistently true

11. I intentionally help the next generation understand why I believe what I believe.

Never trueConsistently true

12. If my children copied my current relationship with God, I would be comfortable with the result.

Never trueConsistently true

Family

13. The people I love most consistently receive meaningful time from me.

Never trueConsistently true

14. My calendar reflects that my family is one of my highest priorities.

Never trueConsistently true

15. The people in my home know what our family stands for.

Never trueConsistently true

16. We have clear standards for how people in our household treat one another.

Never trueConsistently true

17. I can have difficult conversations with people I love without avoiding, exploding, manipulating, or shutting down.

Never trueConsistently true

18. I apologize clearly when I am wrong without attaching an excuse to the apology.

Never trueConsistently true

19. The people closest to me feel safe telling me something I do not want to hear.

Never trueConsistently true

20. I know what the people in my household are currently struggling with.

Never trueConsistently true

21. I intentionally create individual time with the people who matter most to me.

Never trueConsistently true

22. I am building family traditions, rhythms, or practices that I want future generations to continue.

Never trueConsistently true

23. My spouse or significant other, when applicable, receives more than whatever energy I have left after everything else.

Never trueConsistently true

24. My children, when applicable, are being prepared for adulthood rather than simply protected from difficulty.

Never trueConsistently true

25. My family understands how we make decisions about faith, money, health, relationships, and responsibility.

Never trueConsistently true

26. If my household continued operating exactly as it does today for the next ten years, I would be proud of the culture it produced.

Never trueConsistently true

Health

27. I treat my physical health as something I am responsible to steward.

Never trueConsistently true

28. I consistently move or exercise enough to support my long term health.

Never trueConsistently true

29. My normal eating habits support the health and life I say I want.

Never trueConsistently true

30. I consistently get enough sleep to function well.

Never trueConsistently true

31. I address health concerns instead of avoiding them because they are inconvenient or frightening.

Never trueConsistently true

32. I have healthy ways of processing stress, disappointment, anger, grief, and pressure.

Never trueConsistently true

33. I can recognize when I need rest without confusing rest with laziness.

Never trueConsistently true

34. I maintain boundaries that protect my mental and emotional capacity.

Never trueConsistently true

35. I can sit with uncomfortable emotions without immediately escaping through food, alcohol, spending, sex, entertainment, work, social media, or another distraction.

Never trueConsistently true

36. My family sees me practicing the health behaviors I would want them to adopt.

Never trueConsistently true

37. My current lifestyle gives me a reasonable chance of being physically capable of serving the people I love as I age.

Never trueConsistently true

38. If my children adopted my current health habits, I would be comfortable with the result.

Never trueConsistently true

Reflection

If nothing changed about the way you’re currently living, what part of your life would concern you most five years from now?

Wealth

39. I know where my money went last month.

Never trueConsistently true

40. My spending reflects what I claim matters most to me.

Never trueConsistently true

41. I consistently live below my means rather than allowing my lifestyle to rise with every increase in income.

Never trueConsistently true

42. I have a clear plan for eliminating unhealthy debt.

Never trueConsistently true

43. I maintain financial reserves for emergencies and unexpected expenses.

Never trueConsistently true

44. I consistently save or invest toward my family's future.

Never trueConsistently true

45. I understand the basic insurance and protection my household needs.

Never trueConsistently true

46. My financial decisions consider the next generation, not only my current lifestyle.

Never trueConsistently true

47. I am intentionally building ownership, assets, or equity rather than relying exclusively on earned income.

Never trueConsistently true

48. The adults responsible for my household understand where important financial documents, accounts, insurance information, and estate instructions are located.

Never trueConsistently true

49. I am teaching the next generation how money, stewardship, generosity, ownership, and investing work.

Never trueConsistently true

50. If my children repeated my current financial behaviors for the next 30 years, I would be comfortable with the financial life those behaviors produced.

Never trueConsistently true