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When Your Previous Sense of Self No Longer Fits

This survey explores experiences where someone's sense of self, direction, purpose, or identity underwent a deeper process of change.

There are no right answers and you do not need to use any particular language or framework.

Please describe your experience as accurately as you can. Most people complete this in around 10 to 15 minutes. If you answer the reflective questions in more depth, it may take 15 to 20 minutes or slightly longer.

Thank you for contributing to this ongoing research.

Privacy note

Your answers are anonymous unless you choose to leave your name or email address at the end. If I refer to any patterns from the responses in future writing, teaching or research material, I will not use names or identifying details. Please only share what feels appropriate.

Section 1: Basic information about the experience

What is your age range?

Which of these best describes the period you are reflecting on?

Roughly how long ago did this experience begin?

Section 2: The nature of the shift

Did this experience change your understanding of who you are?

Yes, clearly

Yes, but only partially

Possibly, but I am not sure

No, it changed my life circumstances more than my sense of self

No, it was mainly emotional, practical or situational

Other / not sure

Which statement feels closest to your experience?

I went through something difficult, but I still felt like the same person underneath.

I changed my behaviour, choices or circumstances, but my deeper sense of self did not change much.

I felt more open, free, peaceful or authentic, but I am not sure the deeper patterns guiding my life actually changed.

Something about who I thought I was stopped feeling true or stable.

I could no longer organise myself through the same roles, beliefs, goals or identity.

I began looking for something underneath my roles, patterns, expectations or previous self-concept.

I could still function, but something about my previous way of understanding myself or life no longer fully made sense.

None of these fully fit.

Other

Did the experience feel more like a sudden event, a gradual process, or both?

During this experience, did something you previously identified with stop feeling fully true, or stop being able to guide you in the same way?

Section 3: What changed in perception

What changed in how you saw yourself? Please describe this as simply and concretely as you can. For example, did you see your old identity, role, beliefs, ambitions, relationships, coping patterns, life direction, or self-image differently and how?

9. Did you feel that the previous version of you was…?

Which of these best describes the inner experience at the time?

Section 4: Before the shift

Before this experience, what were you actively seeking or trying to resolve?

What do you think created the conditions for this experience? This could include life pressure, crisis, therapy, healing work, spiritual practice, plant medicine, grief, burnout, motherhood, relationship change, career change, illness, repeated dissatisfaction, inner questioning, or something else.

Section 5: Immediately afterwards

What happened in the weeks or months afterwards? Please describe what changed in your inner world, daily life, relationships, work, decisions, body, emotions, spirituality, self-expression, or sense of direction.

In the first 6 to 12 months afterwards, what did you find yourself doing most? Select all that apply. This may include conscious choices, automatic responses, or things you only recognise in hindsight. You do not need to have done these things consistently for the whole period. Choose what shaped your response most strongly during that first year.

If you selected several, which one felt most dominant in the first few months afterwards?

Did the experience make it harder or easier to function in ordinary life at first?

After the initial shift, crisis or disruption, how did your sense of clarity or orientation behave over time?

Section 6: Longer-term outcome

Looking back now, what seems to have changed most over time? Choose the closest option, even if more than one partly applies.

My life circumstances changed, but underneath I still feel mostly organised in the same way.

I changed some behaviours, choices or relationships, but I do not think my deeper sense of self changed very much.

I felt more open, peaceful, healed or authentic for a while, but over time I noticed that deeper patterns still kept returning.

I developed a new explanation, identity, framework or story about myself, and that helped me make sense of things.

I kept questioning, deconstructing or revisiting who I was, but without feeling that anything fully settled.

What changed was not only how I thought about myself, but what seemed to guide my decisions, relationships and expression.

I am still in the middle of it and cannot tell yet.

I do not know yet.

Other

After everything that changed, what do you now feel you understand more clearly about yourself?

What do you understand now that you did not understand before? You might write about your patterns, previous identity, relationships, work, body, choices, sense of purpose, or what seemed to be guiding your life from underneath. Please answer in your own language. A few sentences are enough.

Which statement best describes where you are now?

I am still mainly trying to understand what happened.

I am still questioning many things and deconstructing old assumptions.

I experience repeated cycles of clarity and confusion.

My understanding is becoming more stable, but I am still integrating it into daily life.

I increasingly make decisions and shape my life from a deeper understanding of who I am.

Something new is beginning to express itself through my work, relationships, creativity or contribution.

I feel that a major period of reorganisation has largely stabilised.

Other

Compared with before this experience, how has your relationship with uncertainty, complexity and change evolved?

I still struggle with them much as before.

I understand them better, but they remain difficult.

I can tolerate more uncertainty without needing immediate answers.

I can hold conflicting perspectives without feeling the need to resolve them quickly.

I can hold conflicting perspectives without feeling the need to resolve them quickly.I can navigate greater complexity, responsibility or change without losing my sense of direction.

I'm not sure.

Section 7: Additional questions (optional)

Have you noticed a period where new work, ideas, structures, or directions began to emerge without feeling deliberately constructed? Please describe what changed.

Have you experienced a shift where movement became less dependent on motivation, purpose, or emotional drive, and more directly organised by something internal? What did that look like in practice?

Have you noticed a qualitative change in how you solve problems, recognise patterns, or organise complexity across different areas of life? If yes, did this change persist under pressure, or did it appear usually during periods of clarity, openness, or expansion?

Section 8: Optional follow-up

Are open to follow-up questions or would like to stay connected with this research.

I am open to answering a few deeper follow-up questions.

I would like to receive occasional updates about this research.

I would like a link to your Substack / writing.

Optional: leave your email if you are open to follow-up questions or would like to stay connected with this research.

This research is exploratory in nature and does not assume any particular explanation for the experiences described. Its purpose is to identify recurring observations and patterns across different people and contexts.

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