What Are You Carrying Into Parenthood?

What if some of the patterns you learned growing up are still shaping you today?

Take this short quiz to discover what you may be carrying into parenthood—and what you can consciously choose not to pass on.

This quiz is for reflection, not diagnosis. It is inspired by ideas explored in the Hoffman Process.

QUESTION 1:
When someone you love is upset with you, what is your first instinct?

A. Try to make them feel better, even if I did nothing wrong.

B. Think carefully about what I did wrong and how I could have done better.

C. Become quiet and keep my feelings to myself.

D. Start thinking about what could happen if the situation gets worse.

QUESTION 2:
Growing up, making a mistake usually felt like:

A. I had disappointed someone.

B. I should have known better or done better.

C. Something I should keep to myself.

D. Something that could cause a bigger problem.

QUESTION 3:
When you disagree with someone you love, you are most likely to:

A. Give in because keeping the peace feels more important.

B. Keep explaining my position until I feel I've been understood.

C. Shut down or withdraw from the conversation.

D. Avoid the disagreement because I worry about where it might lead.

QUESTION 4:
Which thought feels most familiar to you?

A. “I don't want to disappoint people.”

B. “I should be doing better.”

C. “It's safer not to show too much of how I feel.”

D. “I need to think ahead so nothing goes wrong.”

QUESTION 5:
When life feels overwhelming, what do you naturally do?

A. Focus on helping everyone else before myself.

B. Try to organise everything and get things under control.

C. Disconnect, become quiet or avoid talking about it.

D. Think through all the possible things that could go wrong.

QUESTION 6:
Which part of parenting do you think could be hardest for you?

A. Saying no without feeling guilty.

B. Allowing my child to make mistakes without immediately correcting them.

C. Staying emotionally present when my child has big emotions.

D. Staying calm when I don't know what is going to happen.

QUESTION 7:
What did you learn about love growing up?

A. Being good and making people happy was important.

B. Love often came with high expectations.

C. Love was there, but emotions weren't always openly expressed.

D. Love sometimes felt connected to whether things were going well.

QUESTION 8:
Complete this sentence:
“As a future parent, I most want to make sure my child never…”

A. …feels like they have to please me to earn my love.

B. …feels that making mistakes means they aren't good enough.

C. …feels they have to hide their emotions from me.

D. …grows up feeling afraid of what might happen next.

What Are You Carrying Into Parenthood?

QUESTION 1:When someone you love is upset with you, what is your first instinct?

QUESTION 2:Growing up, making a mistake usually felt like:

QUESTION 3:When you disagree with someone you love, you are most likely to:

QUESTION 4:Which thought feels most familiar to you?

QUESTION 5:When life feels overwhelming, what do you naturally do?

QUESTION 6:Which part of parenting do you think could be hardest for you?

QUESTION 7:What did you learn about love growing up?

QUESTION 8:Complete this sentence:“As a future parent, I most want to make sure my child never…”